Getting Through The First Few Weeks After the Funeral

After your loved one’s funeral at a Maricopa County, AZ funeral home, you and your family will be faced with making decisions about how to go forward and getting the things that need to be done after someone dies accomplished. This can often be even more difficult than going through the funeral process itself because, for some reason, this part seems to make the death of your loved one more real.

You will probably discover that making decisions and doing the things that need to be done with your family after the funeral of a loved one may often end up in tension and tears. It’s important to remember that you all are grieving and each of you in grieving in your own way, so while you may be able to handle something objectively, other family members may have a different relationship or attachment and may express their emotions in tears or anger. 

Be gentle with each other. If something is too hard to do – and it can be put off – and is causing too much consternation, then get away to some place neutral, like a restaurant, and make a plan together for doing it later. 

If you find your own emotional equilibrium out of balance, walk away – literally. Go take a 15- or 20-minute walk, which will help you process your emotions and will give you some time and space away from the rest of your family. 

It’s important to remember that, in a sense, nothing will ever be “normal” again for your family, at least not in the sense of what was normal when your loved one was still alive. A new normal will emerge, but acknowledging that and accepting that new normal will be a process and it will take time. And it will look different for each family member, so everyone should try to be gracious toward everyone else. 

One of the most fraught parts of the first few weeks after the funeral of a loved one can be splitting up their personal effects or memorabilia that was important to them. While different family members may want different things because those things are associated with their memory of your deceased loved one, there will inevitably be things that more than one family wants to have. Unless your loved one specified who should get those items after their death, a reasonable compromise might be to share the item among the family members who want it, with each one getting to keep it for a certain amount of time each year. 

The hardest part of the first few weeks after a loved one’s funeral will be reentering day-to-day life. All the mourners are gone, and, oftentimes, so are family members. You and your family members, however, are still in the grieving process. It can be very difficult to go back to work or school and find that, for everyone else, life goes on, and they are laughing, joking, and enjoying themselves, while your heart has a hole that will never again be filled, although it will eventually scar over in time. You and your family members need to be nice to yourselves and each other and be patient with everyone else, remembering that, sadly, what you’re feeling right now, everyone will feel at some point if their lives, if they live long enough. 

You can learn more about coping with the first few weeks after a loved one’s funeral by talking with one of our compassionate and experienced Maricopa County, AZ funeral home staff members at Simply Cremation & Funeral Arrangements. You can come by our funeral home at 16952 W. Bell Rd., #303, Surprise, AZ, 85374. We offer 24/7 availability, so call us today at (623) 975-9393.