How to Cope with the Death of a Parent
After parents’ cremations in Peoria, AZ, coping with their deaths can be very difficult. No matter how old parents are, how sick they may be, or how old we are when they are dying, there is no way to emotionally prepare for them being gone.
All our lives, if we have good relationships with our parents, they’ve been our safe havens in the storms of life, our wise advisors, and, as we get older, our closest friends. They have kept us safe, secure, and loved since we were babies.
The safety is always there, even if we decide to take risks on the high wires of life. We always have a place to come back to. The security is always there, because they always have our best interests at heart. And the love is unconditional love that we can count on no matter what.
Our parents are our anchors, even as we grow up, move away, and perhaps begin our own marriages and have our own children. When our parents died, it’s as though everything in our lives becomes unmoored. The result is an emotional earthquake that is not easy to get through, although somehow we manage.
We are never ready for our parents to die. Even though the loss of parents is the most common type of bereavement in America, there is an unwritten message that if they die when we’re adults – small children losing their parents is considered tragic (and it is) – that their deaths are not as big a deal as other deaths. Somehow, the belief is that grieving for a parent is not altogether appropriate, because they were older and going to die anyway and we’ve moved on into our own lives separate from them. However, we’re not separate from them, because the emotional bonds are strong and intact until they’re broken by death.
Society says we should be prepared, accept it, and pick up and get back to “normal” quickly. It shouldn’t take much time to put it behind us. But the reality is that this expectation from society isn’t normal. Whether we had a fantastic relationship with our parents or we have a difficult relationship with them, the loss is still an emotional bombshell that nobody can prepare for. You can prepare intellectually, but the heart doesn’t know how to prepare for death and loss.
The reality is that if our relationship with our parents was less great and more challenging, their deaths may hit us harder than if we had an close and warm relationship with them, because there will be unresolved issues and conflicts that we’ll never be able to do anything about. That’s a very, very hard thing to accept and live peacefully with.
It’s important not let other people tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve deeply for your parents. This is your relationship, so take care of yourself and your emotional needs. You’ll have times when you feel like you’ve been abandoned and you’ll be uncertain about where to go from that. That’s normal, so let it happen. Remember that you don’t stop being someone’s son or daughter just because they die. Cherish that bond and those memories.
The grieving process for our parents never ends. The intensity will fade with time, but for rest of our lives grieving for them will ebb and flow through our lives in little moments of time where we’ll be reminded of them and we’ll be reminded they’re gone.
For more information on grief resources after cremations in Peoria, AZ, our compassionate and experienced team at Simply Cremation & Funeral Arrangements is here to help. You can come to our funeral home at 16952 W. Bell Rd., #303, Surprise, AZ, 85374, or you can contact us today at (623) 975-9393.