Learning How to Live with Grief
Access to grief resources is one of the cremation services provided in Sun City, AZ. Grief after we lose somebody we love is something we have to learn how to live with. The first blush of grief is intense and heartrending. Over time, grief changes, but it never goes away. The intensity of full on grief wanes into an empty place in our hearts, in our minds, and in our lives that can never be filled by anyone else or anything else.
One day, and this day is different for everyone, you realize that your grief is not a heavyweight sitting on your chest, threatening to crush you to death. You know it’s still there, but you can start moving again. However, nothing prepares you for those moments in the forward life you have when that intense grief, albeit short-lived, will hit you all over again. The anguish of grief is what you have to learn to live with. You may see someone who looks like your loved one and your heart immediately breaks. You may hear a song that you shared with them or that they loved, and you miss them all over again. You may see or smell or taste something that reminds you of your loved one, and anguish will come back.
The fine art of negotiating grief to be able to live again without your loved one is to learn how to live with the pain so that it doesn’t cripple you.
One way to accomplish this is to acknowledge that your life without your loved one is going to be different. The void that death leaves is permanent. All the things that you did with your loved one, that you planned with your loved one, and that you intended to do with your loved one are no longer options. You were alone without them and you have to make your way into a new life that doesn’t include them. That’s a tough place to get to, but it will come.
Sometimes in the grieving process, it may seem like it’s easier to not feel what you’re feeling. You may feel hopeless, angry, afraid, confused, resentful, and irritated. To avert feeling these emotions and dealing with them in the present will lead to problems down the road. They’ll never go away and you will feel like you’re stuck in quicksand that is sucking you under. That will hinder your ability to heal and to move forward.
As time passes after the loss of a loved one, focus on limiting the amount of time you give to grief every day. This doesn’t mean you forget. This doesn’t mean there won’t be tears. This doesn’t mean you won’t have a flood of memories. But when those things come, feel them, deal with them, and then put them aside. Too often, during the grieving process, it’s easy for knock of grief on the door to suddenly spiral into a mental circle of would haves, should haves, and could haves that can literally knock your feet out from under you.
Most of all, remember the love, the relationship, and the memories of you and your loved one together. Focusing on these helps you to carry the pain and the anguish of losing somebody that you love.
To learn more about grief resources and cremation services in Sun City, AZ, our compassionate and experienced team at Simply Cremation & Funeral Arrangements can assist you. You can come to our funeral home at 16952 W. Bell Rd., #303, Surprise, AZ, 85374, or you can contact us today at (623) 975-9393.